"it" just moved
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
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