Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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