my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
