how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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