bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
