it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
two words: eviction party
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Randomize
