so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
