someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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