i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
