I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize