unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize