My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
