Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
