Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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