Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
