Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
