All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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