I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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