do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
