idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize