what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
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