I just pynch a tree in the face
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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