his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
