I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
