It's Friday. Sex?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
