Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
