super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
