I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
