hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
