How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
