No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
