Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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