I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
