end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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