that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
