I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize