You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
