I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
