pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
