i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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