Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

I think I just saw someone hide a body.

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(702): View more from Nevada

Then she called me a home wrecking whore.

(1-702): View more from Nevada

dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.

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(513): View more from Ohio

Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home

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(218): View more from Minnesota

Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Great news I took pics last night

(908): View more from New Jersey

Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies

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(240): View more from Maryland

I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"

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(510): View more from California

I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.

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(334): View more from Alabama

But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?

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