i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
