question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
