Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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