So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
