just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
