your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
