oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
