I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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