Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
