As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
did you just send me my own nude
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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