You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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