Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize