dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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