hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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