next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
