i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
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