i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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