i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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