We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
