Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
