Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
